Ritsu's Drunken Ghost Buster Experience
by Teh Future Mrs. Kyo Sohma
Summary: [By Kakuri for Cherry] Ritsu wasn't exactly a pleasant man, with all that apologising. So one day, Akito decided to send him to a camp. Not just ANY camp. Space Camp Gasp Sama In The Wrong Story Desu.


**A/N:**

**Updates Friday! Gasp! I have so many stories to write and type up for Kakuri. **

**This one will come first.**

**For Cherry-chan, who is missed like CHICKEN NOODLE SOUP.**

**Ritsu's Drunken Ghost Buster Experience.**

Ritsu wasn't exactly a pleasant man. He was very loud and very apologetic. Often, he was apologizing for things he didn't even understand. That silly monkey man! So one day, Akito decided to send him to a camp. Not just ANY camp.

SPACE CAMP GASP-SAMA IN THE WRONG STORY-DESU.

"I'm so sorry!" Ritsu cried out as Akito handed him the ticket. "You shouldn't have!"

"I know," Akito muttered. "So get out of my sight before I spray you with mace."

Ritsu nodded and scurried off to the bus mall, which happened to be three steps away from where he currently was. A young, teenage boy stood at the pole, leaning on it roughly. Ritsu hesitantly smiled.

"Umm…" He began, rubbing his arm sheepishly. "I was wondering which bus I catch to go to Space Camp?"

The boy turned to him and gave him a puzzled look. Ritsu stuttered.

"S-Sorry!" He yelled. "I didn't mean to not know!"

"Nah, it's fine." The boy said. "But you're too old and fun looking to go there! You're a young, beautiful chick! Come with me, to Boozeville Ghost Busting!"

Ritsu stared at the boy. Here, right in front of him, was another person who thought he was a girl. His eyes darted back and forth from the ticket in his hand to the kid. It sounded so exciting to go ghost busting! But the booze… but the busting!

"Will Akito be mad?" Ritsu asked the boy.

"…Um, I don't know who you're talking about…" The boy sighed. "But I'm Raiku."

Raiku extended his hand and Ritsu took it.

"Ritsu," Ritsu said. "But… where is Boozeville?"

"This is the bus there. Just jump on with me!"

So Ritsu and Raiku went to Boozeville. On the way, on the bus, Ritsu asked some questions which shouldn't really be questioned.

"What's ghost busting?"

Raiku was shocked. Had this monkey man ever seen the movie "Ghost Busters"? It was a shame. The Authoresses Brother got the idea from the movie.

"It's a thing where you get mighty drunk and chase around bits of air. Except, when you're drunk, you think there are ghosts! It's like Spring Break…"

Raiku reminisced Spring Break. He saw 157 chests. Humming to himself, Ritsu fell into a deep sleep while the bus drove onwards to the Boozeville Ghost Busting Camp.

.xxx.

"Yo, R-man! Wake up! Wake up!" (Raiku still thinks Ritsu is a girl).

Ritsu's eyes fluttered open. Raiku was the first thing he saw.

"Oh. Hello. Sorry, I fell asleep!"

"It's alright."

Ritsu walked out of the bus with his bag and into a shed. The shed was filled with porno mags, booze, vacuum cleaners and sausage rolls. Raiku nodded and pushed Ritsu in.

"Boys!" He yelled. Everyone in the room turned. "This is the only female on the trip! Her name is Ritsu, but for short, R-man!"

Acknowledged, Ritsu felt happy. He sat down and opened a can of smelly liquid.

"Is this urine?" Ritsu asked a man to her left. He gave her a weird look.

"You've never drank?"

Ritsu's eye twitched. "I'M SO SORRY! I SHOULD DRINK! I NEVER DRINK, EVER! NO WONDER I AM SO STUPID! FORGIVE ME! I'M TOO SORRY TO BELIEVE! I'M ALSO SORRY AND SORRY! SORRY!"

After a while, Ritsu was calm. He drank some booze and did a little dance. Soon, he was drunker than everyone else. He didn't apologise at all. He was hitting on random men and doing jocking motions towards other people. Raiku was shocked.

"Ritsu!" He called out. "Lets go ghost busting!"

Ritsu nodded and grabbed a vacuum cleaner and ran outside into the darkness. His eye twitched some more as he flicked on the cleaning machine. He zoomed around.

"Ghosts! Everywhere!" Ritsu screeched insanely. Raiku ran back into the shed and locked the door. Ritsu could find his/her own way home, according to him.

"Wee!" Ritsu slapped random things in the garden with the nozzle. "GHOSTS!"

From inside the shed, Raiku could hear things being smashed loudly. Cries could be heard from outside, along with hysterical, loud laughter.

"Maybe we should send her home," Raiku's brother said. Raiku shook his head.

"When she snaps out tomorrow morning, we'll send her on the first bus!"

Ritsu flailed around the garden with her vacuum cleaner until he collapsed in the flower bed. It took him until morning to realize 'Booseville' was actually the backyard of Raiku's Dad's house. It took him until morning to realize that he wasn't as Space Camp. And, not only that, it took him until then to realize Raiku was actually Akito in a costume.

Ritsu rolled over on the grass he'd fallen asleep on. The ground was hard but slightly muddy. He sat up and moaned.

"Sorry…" He mumbled to himself.

"As you should be!" Akito yelled, taking off his Raiku costume. "This was all a test to see whether you could be trusted or not! You horrible monkey man!"

Akito then spat the goo with Ritsu and went home. Ritsu followed.

And so, the day ended with Akito in a stress attack, Hatori trying to calm her, Ritsu being sorry, Kureno being mad, Kyo being beat, Yuki being tired, Tohru being worried and Shigure being pervy.

And Cherry-chan being missed.

**A/N:**

**Okay. To me, this one was the weirdest that my brother has written so far.**

**Please love him, still.**

**Yay.**


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